Yesterday I updated my ‘about’ page on this blog as I felt I needed to expand a bit more on the name I use, ‘Hepzibah’. It had such an effect on me that I’ve decided to blog about it today just in case my ‘followers’ don’t get updates on pre-existing pages.
About 6 years, when I was in a previous time of quite difficult depression I attended a Christian Healing Prayer School for a residential week. The week was ago… like a lot of these things- when we are in such a fragile place these things can sometimes be very difficult. However, someone said something that I have never forgotten to this day. He was speaking about God giving us a new name, in the Bible he would often rename people and places as a sign of his heart and their purpose. He gave each of us a little pebble and encouraged us to ask God for our new name. 3 years later every time I looked at this little pebble I asked God to show me His name for me. And finally, one day, approximately 3 years later, I felt He told me my name was ‘Hepzibah’. I looked it up and found it in the Old Testament book of Isaiah chapter 62 verse 4. I researched the meaning and it literally means ‘My delight is in her’. I remember thinking that was quite nice- but didn’t really feel overwhelmed with love or anything…
However, yesterday I looked a bit deeper and discovered some treasures. This comes from the website http://www.gotquestions.org/Hephzibah.html (bold font mine)
“In Old Testament times, the Israelites understood the power behind a name. Whether there was actual spiritual blessing or power imparted through a God-given name, or whether the names given simply powerfully influenced the thoughts and beliefs of persons about themselves, the names of the Old Testament characters in many ways predicted or foreshadowed important characteristics or the roles that they would play. “Hephzibah” is found twice in the Old Testament, 2 Kings 21:1 and Isaiah 62:4. Translated from the original Hebrew, Hephzibah literally means, “My delight is in her.” In 2 Kings 21:1, Hephzibah is the name of King Hezekiah’s wife. The name Hephzibah or Hafzbah expresses a very clear idea. Since the same root hafz means “guarding” or “taking care of,” all words from this root suggest the idea of “safeguarding,” and therefore the name Hephzibah means not only someone who evokes delight, but also “one who is guarded,” a “protected one.”
As I read about God saying that I am guarded and a protected one- I felt a comfort that I can’t normally access. I am guarded… I am protected. My name isn’t borderline personality disorder… as I write about DBT, BPD, PMT and UHT… I need to come back to the truth that my name is Hepzibah- guarded and protected one. That feels a lot nicer.
Thanks for listening.