I look at this and smile…
I have a lovely relatively new housemate. She arrived end of September and is a joy to share with. She is also completely oblivious to what has gone on for me this year and the work I am now doing in DBT. And that is just the way I want it to stay…
On Tuesday I had a group of friends coming round for a singing session. I really wanted to bake them a cake… I had a fairly busy day so I made the choice to get up at 8 and bake it before I went out for my days appointments. I have NEVER done anything like that in the past. Normally I would get up at the latest possible moment. Literally depending on the shower situation 10mins before I needed to be out of the house. Tuesday was different I had a purpose for getting up.
That evening my housemate returned home to find us singing, drinking tea and eating the lemon drizzle. As I invited her to join us- she said to the group, Hepzibah is a domestic goddess!!!!! I laughed and she re-affirmed her view. I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry… I have been called many things in life domestic goddess is not one of them.
It got me thinking about perceptions. I remembered a story I heard of an 18th century man who was convicted of sheep stealing and as punishment ST was branded on his forehead. However, he completely changed his ways… So much so that new people who didn’t know of his past, thought the ST stood for saint, not sheep thief.
My housemate has no knowledge of my previous behaviour and existence- she is basing her knowledge of me on what she experiences- and that in her mind is domestic goddess. And that is more than fine by me.
Thanks for listening.
One of the DBT (dialectical behaviour therapy) skills is self-soothing. It encourages us to use all the senses in ways that can bring slight relief to pain or distract us enough to place distance between us and painful moments. It is not yet my strongest skill! But I am working at it! To this end I started baking… I thought the physicality of stirring and rolling etc might help and I do like the smells that come from the oven. With the Christmas season looming and all that I decided that for the first time in my life I wanted to make homemade mince pies- including my own pastry. I confess that I was a pastry virgin. I did not even know what ingredients I needed… But that was not going to put me off. Google and BBC good food guide was all I needed.
With the company and equipment of special friends… I set to work. I now feel more of a complete woman… I have made my own pastry. I can die I little bit more fulfilled. However, let me assure you I will never be making my own pastry again! What a faff! Life is too short for that… Ready made all the way from here!
The mince pies had their debut last night… And they were a good hit. I felt a little bit smug and a tad virtuous at mine being the only home made offering, I think the essential waitrose range is so common(!!!!!!!!) as you can imagine I did make everyone give me their opinion and praise on my creation… But I genuinely think they went down quite well. That’s nice. I’m still never making my own pastry again!
Icing sugar was added at a later date- unfortunately a bit too much and my sister had a choking fit from the excess dust- but it made them look better!