If someone asked you what was the happiest day of your life… how would you respond?
For me, it has to be the day I passed my driving test… yes- really… the day I passed my driving test was the happiest day thus far of my life. It wasn’t just because I could now drive and experience the freedom that this opens up… it wasn’t just that most of my other friends could drive and now I was like other people… it was for the most simple but deep thing for me. It was the happiest day of my life, because I never ever thought it would be possible for me and when I did pass, the success was oh so much more sweeter.
It’s not that I was particularly bad… I wasn’t. I failed once when I was 17 and never re-took it until 9 years ago when I was 32… I passed on my first attempt at that time. I didn’t need to drive while I was in London, but after major surgery 10 years ago last month… one day I ‘decided’ that I was going to learn to drive. My dad wasn’t very happy, I think a number of people didn’t think it was good timing, but once I’ve decided, that’s it… it’s going to happen!
I found an instructor and started. And most lessons I would end up in tears, because I never thought I was going to be good enough. On the whole I drove quite well- but in the test, I would be required to get everything right at the same time. And that felt completely out of my reach. Other people could pass, but I couldn’t. But on June 10th 2003, I passed. And I could have walked on air. Not only did life open up for me in different ways- but I had achieved something that I didn’t think I could. For that reason alone I remember it as a day when I experienced true happiness.
So why I am relating this story? It’s because of the Christmas Wreath in the previous post. When I started that session, I didn’t think for one moment that I would be able to create something that was vaguely ok to put on my front door. I looked around the room and saw all these more ‘creative’ types and was tempted to run away… but somehow I was able to stick with it. And the reason that it means the world to me is that it taught me a powerful, powerful lesson. I can do lots of things that I never thought possible. Some things may take longer, require a bit more practice, necessitate individual tuition or years of persistence. But I can still do it.
I never thought I would get to the place where a) I could create something like this or b) that I would actually even care enough to attend and then stick it on my door.
If friends had told me a year ago I would be baking, knitting, decorating, publishing a book etc… I would have cried in their face. But I am. The Christmas Wreath is my symbol of hope. A symbol that tells me, I can plant vegetables next year if I want… I can write another book… earn more money… meet new people… whatever… some might not come as naturally- but a bit of hard work, persistence, and support… I think I can do most things. Now that is a very freeing thought indeed.