Previously I have posted about my struggles with depersonalization disorder… The relief of being diagnosed and validated and also the joy of learning new skills which have helped me enormously. I do t know about you- but sometimes I only realise that something has ‘gone’ when it comes back again!!! Like when you get a headache and then you realise you actually haven’t had a headache for a while. Well this past two weeks has been a bit of a throw back to so elf those depersonalization symptoms.
I’ve noticed the zoning out… That awful sense of unreality – am I really here… Is this really happening… That feeling of life being under a glass bell jar and every time I try and touch it I can’t get beyond the glass jar… I’d forgotten just how horrible that is…
But thankfully this time- I can see what is happening and most probably the reasons for it… And I can help myself come through this episode. Mindfulness exercises, especially bodily awareness and awareness of my environment through the senses. That’s just reminded me I need to put an elastic band on my wrist and use that to bring myself back. I am having to work very hard to stay in my body… But it will eventually ease.
Crafting as always has really helped lift my mood today and keep me focused. I have been loving doing the long point but I’ve nearly finished so with my friend we purchased a needle felting kit and I’ve had a wonderful time creating this beautiful brooch.
My friends live in a rural area, next door to a farm. They also own a field where the farmer puts his sheep in to graze. As I’ve been trying so hard to focus on reality by tuning into my senses- I’ve noticed how noisy they are! Especially at the crack of dawn!
The cockerel is also very loud as are the numerous birds in the trees! It’s been lovely to focus on some of these sounds. There are worse things I can be focussing on!
Thanks for listening.