Penelope (DBT therapist) specifically asked me to blog this week as part of my homework. I’m not sure she has ever done this before, but our session on Friday was so significant that she wanted me to continue processing it and writing blog posts is one of the ways I can do this.
My previous post left you with my homework of 2 weeks ago. To recap
1) research hair styles
2) research make up options and
3) be open to being feminine (sorry, I’m still shaking at this)
My progress thus far…
1) I have made an appointment at the Vidal Sassoon hair academy for half term. I thought that going to a training institution would be a good idea. The students are supervised, they will take the time over my cut and I’m quite up for thinking outside of the box. (However, with my length of hair, I can’t quite believe i will come out looking any different than to how I go in, but I will suspend all cynicism as of now.) Thankfully another friend texted about meeting up over half term and I thought quickly enough and now she is coming with me 🙂
2) I have an appointment with a cosmetic therapist, she does lots of NHS work with re-construction cosmetics … she does a free consultation, so half term I have an appointment.
3) I have consciously tried to think about taking care and trying to create in my routine time and effort in how I present myself.
the most bizarre things have started to happen….!!!!
I went to Westfield shopping centre on Monday. Normally, I NEVER get approached by the make up sales people… again I think it is because I give off the vibe, come near me and I will rip you into shreds…. well on Monday I was approached! I have NEVER been approached before. My heart sunk a little and that awful shrivelling up feeling I feel started to rear it’s head, but I was able to consciously soothe myself and say Hepzibah, stay with this….
A lovely Romanian girl was obviously trying her best to sell me stuff, I wasn’t going to be bamboozled by sales techniques however, I let this girl give me a mini manicure! I let her touch me, look at me, and I was also on show to other people. All the time I was thinking she must be revolted by looking at me, but I could argue the truth, that just wasn’t true- she didn’t need to do this, if she was so repulsed she could have finished quickly or not even started. She then also did a facial. I LET HER… how cool is that!!!!!
Synchronicity…. it does show me, that what I feel about myself both positive and negative does seem to come out unconsciously in a way that others can pick it up… interesting isn’t it! I’ve had people saying I look nice, the kind of people that never normally say that… I am encouraged that just maybe being open, can open up some nicer experiences for me… exciting!!!
Thanks for listening