My practice of mindfulness of emotions continues! I did not sleep very well, my sleep was disturbed by dreams of stabbings and murder (unsurprisingly based on my news yesterday). Sleep (an integral part of DBT) plays a significant factor in my resilience and emotional health. Lack of sleep is definitely one of my biggest triggers and weak points. (Good to know)
Last week I had been dog sitting for the most gorgeous schnoodle dog called Dezzie. I have loved having Dezzie. He has been cuddly, friendly, affectionate and generally fairly low maintenance. Because he is so small he has been transportable and because he is so well behaved I have not been stressed by his potentials actions with other dogs and people.
My own previous dog was quite a challenge to me and to be honest in many ways he didn’t actually do me a lot of good. Dezzie has brought me joy and companionship this week. I did find leaving him very difficult- my own issues with separation anxiety were definitely triggered but being with him has been really lovely.
Tonight he went home 😦
I miss him and I feel sad. I knew I had an opportunity to practice being mindful of these emotions and one of the things I had been reading about last night was very helpful. When I feel an emotion (usually a negative one) I allow the emotion to ‘mean something’ or i attach a judgement to the emotion. For example, I am sad because I am alone. I am alone because I am not loved… It is not ok to be alone on a Saturday evening, it symbolises that no one wants to be with me etc… Andrea Fell talks about not rehearsing an emotion or allowing yourself to retell the story behind the emotion.
Mindfulness of emotion means experiencing the emotion in the present moment. Focus on the physical sensation of the emotion. Recognise and acknowledge it’s presence but let it go in its own time. Don’t hang on to it. Don’t keep rehearsing the reason for it.
I miss Dezzie. Nothing more, nothing less. I have had his company for the last week and I have enjoyed his company. He is not with me any longer. I experience that loss and work hard to not let that emotion mean something it doesn’t mean.
I realise that my understanding of this is quite shaky at the moment and it is a new way of me experiencing emotions but I like the potential of easing my suffering! So I will definitely need to continue practicing it!
Thanks for listening.