I have felt ‘stuck’ in my therapy sessions over the past few weeks. I’ve hit a wall and felt like I was at stale-mate with both myself, my process and Penelope. Of course I have kept at it. Going to sessions, trying to engage and trying to remain open to the process, but it has been really tough. I haven’t wanted to face the issues. I certainly haven’t wanted to engage in the homework. And I was beginning to feel there wasn’t a way through this. For the first time in over 2 years, I didn’t quite know what to do, how to do it or even if I really wanted to do it.
Yesterday, I had a really helpful session. I said all of the above (not for the first time) but Penelope seemed to be able to sum it up in a way for me that helped things click in to place. I am a visual learner. We both got pens and paper out and made diagrams and flow charts… we changed wording, (I was getting hung up on certain words). We re-framed the issues and context. I could ‘see’ the issues and my behaviour… all in front of me. And I am grateful. I feel back on track. Nothing has changed in the sense that the issues are the same and the homework is the same. But I have changed. An insurmountable problem seems a little more in perspective today.
Throughout my DBT process, I have often just needed the next little step… to know where to focus… to have something I can reach out to… I think I found that again yesterday, which is a huge relief!
Thanks for listening.