more thoughts

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I have had a good day. I’m feeling a bit precious from overindulging last night… but I’ve had a pottering kind of day, with people around if I want- but also the freedom to make space if I don’t. (Thank you my friends, well done me for expressing what I need)

I’ve been having some more thoughts on what I did differently last term. One of the reasons I love blogging is that it gets me thinking, which I really appreciate.

1) I’ve been better at taking moments out. Instead of working at 100% from the moment I wake until the moment I crash- I’ve taken moments and minutes when I’ve needed. Sometimes at school, I’ve gone to the local cafe for a hot chocolate. Sometimes at home, I’ve gone for a walk. Before an evening engagement, I might read for 15 mins. Nothing big and life changing- but small things that have made the daily rhythm more spacious. Big tick. 

2) I can’t believe I didn’t write about the caravan!!!!! Of course, the caravan, and everything it gives me I’m sure has been a big factor in managing life more skilfully. Sadly, I don’t have that opportunity next term- but the essence of taking time out- doesn’t need a caravan- I have a perfectly adequate log cabin at the bottom of my garden! Well done girl. 

3) I’ve stripped back my activity level. Most evenings I am in- very unusual for me. I knew I needed to do what I needed to do to get through, and reducing my evening events has been one of those things. This has on the whole worked well, but I need to be very careful that I do not end up either isolating myself or becoming a very dull girl! Tick for thinking about my body. Need a better balance with this for the sake of my relationships. 

4) I’ve tried new things. I’ve upped my bravery stakes. I’ve felt more able to face my fears. This can be range from things like 3 days ago, where I put on a crash helmet that covered all my face. (I panicked at the feeling of claustrophobia, but I persevered and had a great time go-carting) to having had two baths this term, just for the sake of relaxation and self-care. (One being today!). Both times I’ve been in other people’s houses and my friends have been around. I know this has helped me feel a lot safer. I’m not quite so safe in my own home unfortunately but I can work on that. I’ve also had to do really scary things for me like interact with groups of women at a Head Teacher’s meeting. Something which I find very intimidating and also slightly nauseating! Big tick and smiley face… you’ve done a lot. 

Next term is shorter than this term, and won’t be my first term- so I’m trusting that if I managed this term, I can do next term!

Thanks for listening.

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