the process not the goal

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I do not set New Year’s Resolutions. I never have done. And I have no desire to change that! Gareth and I were chatting about this last night. I just don’t see the point. But also, I genuinely prefer to live an intentional life daily. There is nothing magic about January 1st. There is nothing that I can’t decide to do any day, whether it be March 24th or August 5th.

Coincidentally, this post dropped in to my inbox this morning. http://goinswriter.com/failed-resolutions/#disqus_thread

Very timely!

I’m slightly apprehensive about mentioning this next thing so early in the process, as I do not want to set myself up to fail in everyone’s eyes, but it is pertinent at this time so here goes.

I have started trying to run. I have not physically been able to run for the past 18 years!!!! But I have always fantasised about being able to run. I mentioned to Florence yesterday that I want to run a marathon, (I think I need to modify that slightly and say a half marathon is nearer the truth. It seems so much less brutal. Less likely to lose toenails and nipples!) Sometimes I see people running and I feel a bit of a longing inside to join them. It seems so virtuous going for a run! Freedom. Solitude. Space. Fitness. Benefits for my mental and physical well-being. Weight loss. It’s all very appealing. But the issue is, I can’t run!!!! (not just a mental block, I do have some physical limitations that are slightly contra-indicated) But I have decided to not let that get in the way of me starting. It could be that I will need to accept graciously that my body is just not able to run, but I will make that decision after 2 weeks of at least giving it a jolly good go.

I am quite a goal orientated person, so the Goins post really helped me to get things in to perspective. I don’t know whether I will ever be able to run a Half Marathon. I hope that in 4 months I may be able to try a 5K…I don’t know. But I do know that I can embrace the process and leave the end product to something outside of myself.

My intention is to run 3 times a week. I am using a Couch to 5K app. Patrick, who has run a marathon before told me to take the pace really really slow. To be honest, I’ve not long finished my run and I think a caterpillar could run faster than I was, but I’m moving! I also decided to repeat the same sequence as 2 days ago, and Daniel always tells me with my cooking… low and slow… It hurts. But I think it is a new to running hurt as opposed to a flair of my symptoms.

I really didn’t want to go out in the cold and dark this evening. It has been raining all day and I was really wanting to chicken out! I am very familiar with that feeling, when everything inside me has not wanted to leave my bed or my house…But sometimes it’s all about the first step. The hardest step. The bravest step. The most important step. Even if I never run again I have done 2 runs this week… that really is quite incredible. Another thing to add to my, I thought that was impossible, but here I am doing it now, list.

From the app…

.quote

Thanks for listening.

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2 responses »

    • I would love that, so would Coriander… But please warn him, i am VERY slow… At one point i think i was almost just jumping up and down on the spot!

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