It hurts

Standard

on different levels… 

Yesterday my run increased to 2×3 mins and 2x 4 mins with walks in between. I found it tough going! I didn’t stop. But it was the nearest I have been to not completing the schedule. Today- it hurts! I’m stretching like I’m an elastic band! Tomorrow- I try it again. 

I’m also hurting because last weekend I was burgled. I’m hurting because unwanted visitors came into my home, messed it up and stole my things. I’m hurting because I feel scared to leave my home, but also scared to come back home in case I don’t like what I find. I’m hurting because the insurance company won’t pay out for any losses and I can’t afford to replace what I want to replace. I’m hurting because intruders have been in my bedroom and gone through all my personal things. 

It also hurts- because I was doing so well. My house was becoming a much safer place for me. I was choosing to spend more time in it. I even managed a bath in it. I was allowing myself to lock myself in. And I now feel like ive fallen off the ladder again. Today- I need to try again. 

I feel like the wind has been taken out of my sails. Not helped by things at work getting awkwardly tricky. Sometimes things knock you when you’re down. 

Today, I need to try and find some time for me- not quite sure where it will come- but something I have learnt very clearly over the last couple of years- ignoring hurt is totally unproductive- it will always come back and bite you in the bum. 

Thanks for listening. 

 

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