On January 1st of this year I wrote a post entitled ‘what’s different’. In it I explored some of the reasons why I thought I might have managed so well during my first term in my new work role. It was a very encouraging post! This morning I’ve woken with thoughts about why this term has not been quite as ‘successful’ in my eyes. (I know others will have different perspectives on this, at the moment I need to get myself unstuck from my perspective.)
Re-reading the previous post has helped me see that annoyingly I wasn’t so good at using the techniques I had previously employed. Out of self-compassion (?) I need to acknowledge some of the things going on for me this term- all of which I will process at some point.
1) OFSTED came.
2) I was burgled.
3) I had sad news about my brother’s health
4) my sessions with Penelope have been the ‘messiest’ to date. At times trying to function as a vaguely responsible teacher while battling urges to mutilate myself has been tricky. As i write this, I think, no wonder I’m tired!!!!
5) the final blow was my brother being hospitalised the day I left for this holiday. Another episode of them trying to save him in resus. Another conversation with doctors about how poorly he is. Another time of having to say goodbye wondering if this will be the time when he doesn’t recover. Sorry- have to stop that thread, it’s too upsetting.
So as I list these 5 things, all over 3 months the challenge is, what do I do about it? As I wrote yesterday, this is about Operation Rescue for me. Unlike yesterday I do feel a bit more human this morning which always helps!
I’m off for some breakfast!
Thanks for listening.