I need to anchor my thoughts about the Summer- not just for blogging purposes but also to give myself chapters/ milestones to anchor to. When things get very wobbly and threaten to break, I want to know clearly what I can hold on to. I think this Summer was about
- community and encouragement
- unexpected possibilities
- the power of being a woman
- being prepared
I’m not saying I am going to blog about each of these, as most are interwoven anyway- but I know from memory techniques I need a list!
I need to go and get ready to be seen in public now, so I need to hold those thoughts! Very exciting!
Thanks for listening.
I went on holiday for a month. 4 weeks. 28 days. Weeks 1 and 4 were by myself, weeks 2 and 3 with my sister and her husband.
Why? Because I knew I needed to refresh and recharge. I was running on empty. In every sense of the word. But also, I didn’t want a Summer alone in England. I couldn’t quite face driving around the length and the breadth of the UK to meet up with dear friends- whom I would love to spend time with, but I didn’t want my usual nomadic social life.
My sister has an apartment in Bulgaria. Usually, I do my best not to leave the complex. I have no desire to see Bulgaria (sorry!) but I had a huge desire to read, crochet, eat, drink, chat and generally be silly. Bulgaria is also really hot. I do love the sun, but I do not like it on my skin- so much to the amusement of all the other holiday makers I set myself up in the shadow of one of the buildings, normally covered from head to toe, flask of tea and mountains of yarn. Bliss. There is a pool where I exercise (more of that later).
On the whole I was anxious about the two weeks holidaying solo. I wanted to do it. I chose to do it. But I wasn’t entirely sure I could do it! As I have been going for a number of years to the same place, you do get to know other people, and I was pretty sure I could have company when I wanted it- but it was still a big thing for me. To compensate, I think I packed most of hobby craft! I took copious amount of yarn, books, art materials… the works. I had very little room for clothes!
The other thing that happened before I went. Two people known to my sister- decided to hijack my last week! They rented an apartment from someone else. I was really gutted. I don’t choose to spend time with them in England let alone when I am on holiday by myself in Bulgaria. It was quite irritating to be honest. I had to practice the DBT skills of DEARMAN. (This module the one of interpersonal effectiveness is one that I find most tricky. Saying no. Expressing my needs and wants. Not pleasing other people to the detriment of my own health. Penelope and I have had quite a few battles over this one.)
I’m not sure I was entirely successful in my dealings with them. I know they are totally entitled to holiday when and wherever they want and I had to make the choice to not allow their presence to spoil my holiday. it wasn’t completely successful. I didn’t do too bad. However, I would have much preferred it if they weren’t there… this dilemma continues…
The scene was set… bags packed… creative supplies in abundance (suitable clothes not quite so much). Bulgaria here I come! But even I couldn’t foresee the events that were about to unfold!
Thanks for listening.
The last couple of weeks have been very challenging. I am tired, irritable and find myself having moments of feeling a bit sorry myself. When I see those things I know I need to get a grip, and quickly! So this week I have had the chance to have a good catch up with two wonderful friends about my Summer adventures. It was so good to laugh from the belly again. I remembered that I had promised myself I would blog about the Summer, not just to process some of the things, but also to have a record. Sometime Penelope (my DBT therapist) sets me homework to re-read my blog. The Old Testament is full of testimonies to the goodness of God- a record to go back to in more difficult times. So this morning, I am forsaking The Archers omnibus to reminisce about my Summer. Not with romantic longings- but the need to keep hold of the good and progress I made.
I am also going to experiment with staggered publishing so that hopefully these will appear in your emails in the correct order (no guarantees I will actually manage this!)
Thanks for listening. I hope the following posts bring you some joy and more importantly hope.
Hmmm… just realised I don’t know how to do this! So can I suggest you read the emails/ posts in time order! (Daniel, can you help!?!)
My apologies… I inadvertently posted a blog meant for my place of work website and not this one. As soon as I pressed publish I saw what I had done. I immediately removed the post from my site but I realise now that subscribers would still have seen the post.
Thankfully no harm done. It did make me go a little pale at the thought that I might have accidentally posted a DBT related post on my school site… that would have been a lot more concerning!!! So I am grateful for the gentle warning… and is often the case at the moment- I need to SLLLLOOOOW down.
Thanks for listening.