Some people love it. Some people hate it. Some people embrace it. Some people avoid it.
That process of moving from one place to another. One state to another. One phase to another.
I’m in one.
Usually, I love and embrace change. I can’t bear the thought of turning stagnant. Not keeping fresh. Not moving. I usually find change quite exciting.
But in this phase of transition, I am finding it a bit more tricky than at other times. I have been trying to think as to why this might be. I think an idea is crystallising for me.
This time, I don’t know the end destination. I don’t know what it looks like, when it’s coming, and if I will ever get there. I’m in the dark. Because the potential other side is somewhere where I’ve never been before. And this is the new factor for me.
If I’m instituting change at work or in my home: I usually have a clear vision of what the new will look like. It often looks worse before it gets better, but I know where I’m going.
With this season of my life, I don’t. I’m clearing out. But it’s just feeling empty. I don’t know what, if anything is able to feel the hole. I do not nature abhors and vacuum and something will fill it… but quite what, I don’t know.
So I will just have to keep on keeping on. I want to hope for the best, not in that really pathetic way that people sometimes say… but rather with a bit of peace in my heart and fire in my belly that grits my teeth and says- change just ahead- but its hard in the dark isn’t it.
I need to look for some light!
Thanks for listening