oh the irony

Standard

Sometimes life is just weird! Plan weird!

Yesterday, I did pretty ok at staying on track. By the end of the day I was really upset- doesn’t mean I shouldn’t have done it… but on the whole facing things is more upsetting than ignoring things in the short term.

Unknown.jpegI spent some of the day reading “Reinvent Your Life” textbook again. I’ve blogged about it before and I can’t recommend it enough to those who are interested in schema therapy. I was focussing quite a bit on the sections on maternal deprivation and abandonment issues.

Then lo and behold my elderly neighbour next door, June, had a funny turn and was taken off to hospital.

I have blogged before about how difficult I find her at times. She has Alzheimers and Dementia and in some ways is the most stressful part of my life currently. She can be quite demanding of me and I find it incredibly hard to hold my boundaries with her. She is very critical of me and I am never quite good enough for her.

But last night when she was in hospital, I was bereft at not having her next door. I was proper upset. As I write now, the emptiness next door is massive. I know I should feel a bit of relief at the respite but I don’t. I think because of my thinking/ reflecting yesterday I’ve become a bit over-sensitive to female figures in my life again… and as ridiculous as it seems I am feeing really lost without her.

She may or may not return home. I am not party to those arrangements for her. Part of me really doesn’t want her to come back, as I don’t think it is the best place for her, but part of me is now also thinking, what am I going to do without her?

oh the irony…

 

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s