I have been thinking about this for months. I’ve written this blog post in my head a number of times. It’s now time to give form to it.
I am fortunate to possess many ‘skills’. I can play the piano and other instruments. I can knit, stitch and crochet. I can sew. I can bake. I can write fairly eloquently. I can ‘do’ lots of things… but one thing plagues me…
I can’t create.
By this I mean, I can follow instructions, copy patterns, record events… but I can’t make up my own recipes, compose my own songs, write my own novel. And it frustrates me!!!! I feel like I have nothing original in me. And worse than that I don’t really know what to do about it!
I met someone over the weekend who has an amazing idea and has written children’s books. Original. Belongs to him. Not already out there. And I could feel the creative envy in me!
My friend Daniel, is a wonderful cook and baker- but he freestyles. Will put flavours together…goes off piste… I follow the instructions to the letter. My friend Clarissa is a sewing freestyler… she doesn’t follow patterns she sees where the process takes her. Hear me correctly,I’m not comparing myself to them or thinking I’m not original, I know my own value… but I want to cultivate the original.
I want to write my own songs, instead of playing others…
I want to bake cakes that I can say I made that up (or even adapted)
I want to write a novel (have not got any ideas whatsoever).
I find the thought of creating the original really daunting. I dissect novels and wonder how on earth did people even think such things. I hear people say they’ve got a story inside them… I haven’t! I look at works of art and am in awe of how this thing came in to being. I just don’t believe I’ve got anything original in me to come out. But when I say that, I think, that can’t be true. There is no reason why I can’t. I’ve just got to work out how!
I’ve just got to work out how!