I had my first meltdown over the pups, George and Mildred.
I stood in the middle of my friend’s kitchen and burst in to tears. Bit of a shock for my friend who didn’t have a clue what was going on- but I couldn’t keep it inside any longer. I literally stood with the kettle in my hand and sobbed.
I was away for the weekend visiting friends. They live in the middle of no-where and their land is surrounded by active farmland. They also have a busy household of gorgeous children who had friends over for a sleep over.
The pups didn’t stop barking. They barked at every bird. They howled at the pheasants. They jumped up from a deep sleep every time someone came in to the room or ran down the stairs. By the start of day 3- my nerves were frayed, I was physically exhausted at having to keep getting up to try and calm them down.Its the first time the pups have been a drain. Usually they are joyful additions. I know their breed is notorious for barking/yapping. But it is a fairly new development for them.
As I now reflect on this meltdown I realise it isn’t the pups barking per se that stressed me out- it was my anxiety at my friends not coping with them and then being excluded from coming to their house. I was reminded of the shame I felt all the time with my previous dog- a naughty dog meant that I was defective as an owner (and therefore as a person.)
Most friends persevered with my previous dog because they loved me- but only the die h
ard dog lovers amongst them would ever look after him for me. I hoped my cute cuddly dogs would be more easily looked after by friends and family- and would even be a blessing to them. But quite frankly I wouldn’t blame any one if they didn’t want to- the barking was SOOOOOOO draining.
In reality- I can work hard and train the pups. I’ve read up on the issue- they are not the first chihuahuas to have this problem and they won’t be the last. I will need to persevere and be persistent and consistent. What is more challenging is my anxiety and fear of rejection. This weekend is fireworks, I am literally dreading it. I love fireworks myself but the pups have small dog syndrome big time and I think it is likely they will want to fight the bangs… hey ho… to make things worse I’m with a different set of friends. A challenge indeed.
I love them. I can’t give up so easily. I won’t. Friends- please be patient with us and Hepzibah be patient with yourself xxx
Thanks for listening.