Sometimes an every-day type of conversation can give you a golden nugget.
I was talking with my friend Sandra and she questioned my motivation for doing something that I am currently doing. It wasn’t a negative questioning rather a genuine what do I hope to achieve from doing this… good question. She mentioned the word ‘justice’ in the process and since that time I’ve been thinking about it a lot.
Justice just wasn’t ticking the boxes for me. Firstly, I’m not entirely sure what justice actually is and whether it ever makes any one feel better. But also, why would I want justice… the concept doesn’t yet feel like it relates to me. However, what was amazing, was that in that process of thinking about justice I did begin to clarify what I did want from this process.
I want to be heard.
I want to tell my story.
I want my story to be validated.
Ideally, I would like my story to be believed- but I can’t control other’s response to my story.
￼Ironically, I am surrounded by friends who hear me, listen to me and validate me. But this isn’t about other people- this is about me hearing myself, validating my story and believing myself. Oh my word- if I can do that- (and I will) my life will be transformed!
Currently, I have people who don’t know me doing the above- and it is sooo powerful. They have no reason to believe me, listen to me, take me seriously- but they are. (not sure if they believe me but they are certainly taking me seriously). The impact for me is quite incredible. I can feel myself standing a little taller. I can feel a lessening of the pain in my chest.
I can’t control whether others choose to hear my story but I can control my own response to it, and I think my own response to myself will be one of the most healing things I can do for myself.
Thanks for listening.